Takpe. I am strong enough to handle this. Pheww.
Btw, I am entering 21 weeks of pregnancy. Sekejap sajok sudah 5 bulan lebih kan. Another halfway to go mommy. Chaiyok.
When I first knew I am pregnant, it was about 6 weeks already. I was pretty sure on my first date of the last period, so sepatutnya calculation of umur & baby size adalah almost no doubt. But not that straight forward eyy. Ada drama swasta berlaku di situ.
I had my 1st appointment with Dr Marsita at 7 weeks pregnancy. Masa tu lagi seminggu lebih nak ke bulan Ramadhan. I had a miscarriage masa 1st pregnancy, so I did not want to take any risk thats why dah pegi jumpa ObGyn at 7 weeks itu. Masa 1st visit tu, we waited for almost 3 hours, and dah nak dekat pukol 12pm tak dapat jumpa doctor lagi maka MNI terpaksa balik ke office because he had an urgent meeting on that day. Aku tak kisah pun masa tu, sebab aku kan isteri yang memahami. Ecewah.
Dah naik kematu punggung menunggu, at last dapat jugak berjumpa dgn Dr Marsita. Check punya check scan sana sini, she made a surprise face. Telling me no heartbeat was detected! Owh terus nak terpecah rasa hati. She told me sepatutnya by 5-6 weeks dah boleh nampak heartbeat, and that shows a viable pregnancy. Kalau tak detect the hearbeat by 6 weeks, dia agak ada perasaan ragu-ragu di situ.
She told me dia taknak buat aku menunggu dan meresah dengan lama. Lebih2 lagi nak masuk bulan Ramadhan. In other words, dia taknak aku mengharap pada pregnancy yang mungkin tak menjadi. Bincang punya bincang, I disagreed to do D&C straightaway. Sebab aku like tak puas hati, takkanlah kalau tak detect heartbeat, that means berlaku 'silent miscarriage' and kena D&C. No..no..no.. Takleh terima kenyataan pada ketika itu. 'Silent miscarriage' is kandungan yg mungkin gugur dari awal pregnancy, but kita tak tahu because when we do pregnancy test, HcG hormon still can be read and test will still show positive result.
I asked her if there is any other way to make me feel better before deciding anything. She said ok kita buat blood test selang sehari. If the HcG hormon increases (double) in every test, then the pregnancy mungkin menjadi. If otherwise, then mmg confirm silent miscarriage. So I agreed & they took the 1st blood test on that very same day.
Lusanya and 2 hari kemudiannya aku pegi hospital lagi utk amik blood test.
Alhamdulillah, result double up in every test. So discussed balik dgn doctor and we waited for another 2 weeks.
After 2 weeks I went back to the hospital and buat scan lagi. Alhamdulillah dah detect heartbeat. Cuak sangat okeh. Bila doctor ukur size kantung etc. dia kata size baby ni 2 weeks smaller kalau compare dengan date period yg aku bgth dia. Thats y tak dapat detect heartbeat masa the previous scan. So dia kata period date aku yg maybe silap. But I was very very sure on the date. Sebab aku igt sgt sgt period hari Rabu, iaitu 5 days before arwah papa passed away.
But aku malas lah nak bertekak dgn doctor kan. Aku iyakan sahaja. Asalkan baby selamat, Alhamdulillah kami dah bersyukur sangat-sangat. Gila kau tak sedih kalau miscarriage.This pregnancy is a 'wanted' one. Bukan teraccident ke terlajak ke apa.
Maybe aku conceive super lambat after habes period tu, dats y ada effect pada umur baby. kalau ikutkan period date, aku now dah 23+ weeks. But based on ther revised EDD, aku baru 21+ weeks. Asalnya EDD ialah 19 Feb (exactly on MNI's besday). But takde rezeki kot, now dah lewat 2 weeks jadi 6 March 2014. (sama besday besfren I si Wirdalina).
Now aku tgh sibuk study & nak khatamkan buku ni :
Pray that I can achieve a natural birth by this technique. I also had registered for the hypnobirthing class. The first class starts in Dec. Oklah tu 7 months pregnant masa tu InshaAllah. I am very determined to learn and apply menatang ni, because I realized I made a lot of mistakes masa deliver Aryan, which made the birthing experience super horror dan menakutkan sampai aku rasa trauma sgt taknak beranak lagi. Birthing should be sangat menyeronokkan & tidak menyakitkan & tidak menakutkan with minimal medical intervention iaitu bila sgt sgt perlu sahaja, bukan segala unnecessary benda kau nak buat & pakai. Dan bukan menjerit terlolong macam aku buat dulu.Will story mory more about this in another entry ok. Doakan aku berjaya dapat a safe & wonderful birthing experience this time. Amin Amin ya RabbalAlamin.
Till then. Toodles.
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